posted by Poolside on Jan 31
Paris Hilton got plastered last night in London while she’s in town promoting the British edition of My New BFF. She also made probably the most sensual face I’ve seen in my life. I’m actually contemplating a lifetime of… …read full story
posted by Poolside on Jan 29
Mischa Barton attended the Christian Dior show in Paris yesterday which also happened to be her birthday. After almost showing some nip, she bailed to get shit-faced at a party where she made out with a female friend in front of the paparazzi. Or in other words, Mischa Barton spent her day living according to The Bible.
NOTE: Top pic links to enlarged version which is LSFW - if your boss is Superman.
posted by Poolside on Jan 27
Lindsay Lohan and little sister Ali did some shopping this weekend in New York where Lindsay frightened onlookers with her increasingly rail-thin figure. It’s gotten to the point where you can see her spine through her clothing which proves my theory about lesbians: They have bones. Ha, I win, scientific community! Who’s laughing now?!
posted by Poolside on Jan 26
John Travolta has been targeted in a $20 million extortion plot that TMZ has confirmed revolves around the circumstances of his son Jett’s tragic death just weeks ago:
We’re told several people have allegedly demanded $20 million from John and cops are on the hunt. We have now confirmed that the alleged extortion attempt does not involve pictures of Jett as he was dying. As for what the extortion attempt is about….no one will say.
We’re now told by police sources they got the complaint approximately a week ago and their investigation will be concluded “very shortly.”
Authorities in the Bahamas have confirmed toUs Magazine that there’s only one person involved in the plot. So, is anyone going to fault John Travolta for finding this hollow shell of a douchenozzle, killing his son, then bilking for him 20 mil? I’m certainly not. In fact, are there any laws against mailing someone a chainsaw for the express purpose of using it to commit a felony? They don’t really make sympathy cards for this kind of occasion, so I went with the next best thing.
posted by Poolside on Jan 24
This was Anthony Kiedis surfing in Malibu yesterday. Now I’m not an expert on sunscreen or anything, but I usually use my hands and go for a nice even coverage. As opposed to Anthony Kiedis’ method, which appears to be closing his eyes and dunking his face into a bucket of the stuff. Whatever works, I guess, but my method doesn’t end up looking like I lost a bet.
posted by Poolside on Jan 21
Here’s Miranda Kerr on a photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret in St. Barts over the weekend. I’m not saying I’m jealous of Orlando Bloom, but I would definitely wear his actual face as a mask. I would so do that. Which, clearly, makes me the better man here. I’m surprised there’s not a parade in my honor right now. Or at least a chili cook-off. I mean, what? We don’t respect heroes anymore? Sheesh. Some country.
posted by Poolside on Jan 19
An increasingly thin Lindsay Lohan went shopping in Malibu yesterday with her sister Ali. Now, I’m not saying Lindsay’s starting to look unhealthy, but I guarantee she threw some elbows in the laxative aisle. “Coke-elbows, activate! Hey, Ali, who’s living Lohan now, bitch? KERPOW! Aw, no way, buy one get one free dental dams…”
posted by Poolside on Jan 18
HBO premiered the third season of Big Love at the Arclight Theater in LA last night, and apparently, Chloe Sevigny thought Rome was coming back because she toga’d that shit up. Nice? In the meantime, I included pics of the other “wives” (Ginnifer Goodwin and Jeanne Tripplehorn) along with Amanda Seyfried just for the hell of it. That said, I’m not endorsing polygamy, but if you want to test it out in my hot tub, I do endorse religious exploration. And bubble fights.
posted by Poolside on Jan 16
Lil Kim isn’t happy with the way she’s portrayed in the upcoming Biggie Small’s biopic Notorious and has issued a statement to the AP voicing her disapproval:
“The film studio and producers involved were more concerned about painting me as a ‘character’ to create a more interesting story line instead of a person with talent, self-respect and who was able to achieve her own career success through hard work.
“Even though my relationship with Big was at times very difficult and complicated (as with most relationships we have all experienced at one time or another), it was also genuine and built on great admiration and love for each other. Regardless of the many lies in the movie and false portrayal of me to help carry a story line through, I will still continue to carry his legacy through my hard work and music.”
Biggie Smalls’ mother Violetta Wallace commented on Lil Kim’s accusations:
“This is not a Lil Kim movie,” she said. “This is a Christopher Wallace movie. It has nothing to do with Lil Kim. If she’s disappointed and upset, that is her problem.”
I love how Lil Kim, who treats her face like it’s a fleshy Transformer, suddenly feels the need to champion authenticity. On a similar note, Violetta Wallace’s response could’ve easily been shortened to two words: “Cha-ching, bitch!” But that’s just me keeping things classy.
posted by Poolside on Jan 14
Nicole Kidman did some shopping in Nashville yesterday and offered us a glimpse of what sent Tom Cruise screaming to divorce court like a frightened schoolgirl. Seriously, there’s so much moose knuckle going on here, I’m amazed Sarah Palin hasn’t popped out of a cheese barrel and peppered Nicole with some buckshot.
SARAH: *BAM* Oh, I got her there that time, dont’cha know.
BYSTANDER: Jesus. You shot Nicole Kidman!
SARAH: Don’t go bein’ a socialist now.
BYSTANDER: Do you even know what that means?
SARAH: ….. *BAM* 2012!
