posted by Poolside on Sep 30
Artist Jonathan Yeo created the above portrait of Paris Hilton using nothing but old porn magazines. He’s currently exhibiting the work at a London art gallery along with a portrait of George W. Bush using the same medium. This Yeo fellow clearly has a knack for knowing when not to waste paint. FOX News reports:
He got the idea for the collages following the cancellation of a commission by the White House to paint Bush in 2004. He made the portrait, anyway, but in the form of a collage using pieces of pornographic magazines.
Barrett said posters of the Hilton portrait, titled “Paris, 2008,” will be sold for $20 each at the gallery.
She said Yeo was offering Hilton proceeds from the sale of the posters as a “lighthearted” gesture because the hotel heiress has said she didn’t receive any money from the notorious 2004 sex video that starred her and then-boyfriend Rick Salomon.
Sadly, you can’t see any of the porn in this picture (Trust me, I’ve gone through ten magnifying glasses.), but this is probably the classiest thing that will ever happen to Paris Hilton. Until I mold a statue of her out of used condoms. I love art!
UPDATE: I found a nipple and a penis. What do you guys got?
posted by Poolside on Sep 28
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills pretended to be people who shouldn’t be launched into space yesterday by volunteering at the Union Rescue Mission in LA. The two served meals to the homeless while attempting to look deeply concerned about the plight of the less fortunate. That lasted all of about two seconds before Heidi and Spencer started posing over the mashed potatoes. Jesus, don’t hobos stab anybody anymore? There used to be a thing called “tradition” in this country.
posted by Poolside on Sep 28
Natalie Portman and folk-singer Devendra Banhart are no longer together, according to People:
Portman, 27, began dating Banhart, also 27, after starring in his “Carmensita” video, which was shot last March. A short time later, they took their romance public when they were spotting kissing on the streets of New York and over a sushi dinner at Jewel Bako.
For those of you who missed the video when I posted it back in July, I included it after the jump. Perhaps it will offer some clues as to why these two broke up. You know, besides the obvious reason. (The pubes.)
posted by Poolside on Sep 26
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills pretended to be people who shouldn’t be launched into space yesterday by volunteering at the Union Rescue Mission in LA. The two served meals to the homeless while attempting to look deeply concerned about the plight of the less fortunate. That lasted all of about two seconds before Heidi and Spencer started posing over the mashed potatoes. Jesus, don’t hobos stab anybody anymore? There used to be a thing called “tradition” in this country.
posted by Poolside on Sep 26
Natalie Portman and folk-singer Devendra Banhart are no longer together, according to People:
Portman, 27, began dating Banhart, also 27, after starring in his “Carmensita” video, which was shot last March. A short time later, they took their romance public when they were spotting kissing on the streets of New York and over a sushi dinner at Jewel Bako.
For those of you who missed the video when I posted it back in July, I included it after the jump. Perhaps it will offer some clues as to why these two broke up. You know, besides the obvious reason. (The pubes.)
posted by Poolside on Sep 25
Britney Spears’ latest single “Womanizer” was set to debut yesterday morning, but E! News is reporting it will be another week until it hits radio stations:
According to label sources, the official premiere of “Womanizer,” Spears’ first single off of her upcoming album Circus, has been pushed back due to an undisclosed issue with “the mix”—i.e., not Britney’s vocals, per se, but rather how all facets of the track sound together.
I’m sure there was a mix-up and somebody accidentally recorded the track where they let Britney Spears sing. And by sing I mean spent ten minutes trying to order a Whopper through the mic in the recording booth.
posted by Poolside on Sep 23
Who’s ready for a story about how big of a bitch Kim Kardashian is? I know I am. I don’t know about you, but I love a good “Kim is a selfish behemoth” tale because they’re always so full of hope and promise and love for one’s fellow man. So, without further ado, here’s an eyewitness account from a Defamer Australia reader who got stuck in a traffic jam only to watch Kim Kardashian impede the progress of rescue workers because she was on the phone. Inspiring!:
After 5-10 minutes, I see a tow truck and a fire truck coming our way from around Fairfax, but traffic is now pretty jacked so it’s slow. The tow truck is all set to come down the emergency lane when this
giant black tinted Escalade looking thing cuts in front of it to pass the stalled traffic. Keep in mind the tow truck has flashers on. As the Escalade gets closer, I’m waving my hands to tell it to get over, but it won’t. Then I notice the chick driving is on her cell, holding it up to her ear. I walk up to her car now, hit the passenger side door and say “get over - there’s a tow truck and a fire truck behind you - there’s been a bad accident.”
At this point, she rolls down the window to reveal her KIM KARDASHIAN self [...] who tells me “Don’t you touch my car.” I thought, “Are you fucking kidding me?! there’s a guy on the sidewalk with his head bleeding.” I then screamed at her “Are you fucking kidding me?! There’s a guy on the sidewalk with his head bleeding!!” to which she responds “I know, but don’t touch my car.” She finally merges into the other lane and jams it through the yellow light to make the intersection.
She said “I know?” I KNOW that I’m holding up rescue in my tinted-arse Escalade looking thing and on my cell, but the only thing I care about is not to hit my car.
Okay, all joking aside, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Kim could’ve been in the middle of a very important phone call. For all we know, the price of mustache wax just shot up. Or buttpads now require a permit. Let us not be so quick to judg - wait, I got it, O.J. wants his money back. That explains it….
Thanks to Susan who always figured Kim Kardashian, of all people, would have more respect for the Jaws of Life.
NOTE: And, get the fuck out, reader Brandon just alerted me that Kim Kardashian is claiming to be 120 lbs. on her blog. Per cheek, maybe.
posted by Poolside on Sep 17
While filming an episode of their TV show Keeping up with the Kardashians, the family all wore shirts encouraging Dancing with the Stars viewers to vote for Kim Kardashian who’s competing on the upcoming season. Shameless, sure, but what I’m more disappointed about is these people missed a huge advertising opportunity. I’m, of course, talking about the mountainous ledge above that could provide shade for an entire city. C’mon, does anyone really look at anything else when watching the Kardashian’s show? I mean, I just found out the other day Khloe has a face. Ha ha, who saw that coming?
posted by Poolside on Sep 17
George Takei (Star Trek’s Mr. Sulu) wed his longtime partner Brad Altman yesterday at the Japanese American National Museum. The AP reports:
Wedding guests included “Star Trek” stars Walter Koenig and Nichelle Nichols, who served as best man and best lady, Hollywood executives, local and national government officials and the couple’s relatives from around the world.
Keeping with the multicultural theme, guests dined on Asian/Baja Californian fusion cuisine and took home Japanese tea-ceremony treats in boxes printed with the phrase: “May sweet equality live long and prosper.”
What the? No Spock or Shatner? Jesus, this wedding sounds pretty gay. Oh right. Whoops. Man, I’ve put my foot in my mouth this time. Quick, Geekologist, tell me how to smooth things over with your people - and I’m not talking about the geeks. Seriously, I don’t want to end up getting a sassy makeover in my sleep. I’m too ruggedly handsome, dammit! KHAN!!
posted by Poolside on Sep 17
Britney Spears donated the above painting to The Promises Foundation which provides “behavioral health services to low-income women and their children.” The portrait was for sale on eBay with a starting bid of $10,000, but the auction page has been inexplicably pulled. At any rate, the painting was on display in Britney’s parent’s house because who doesn’t love a topless portrait of their daughter hanging around? You know, besides the South.
