posted by Poolside on Aug 31
Hilary Duff’s father Bob Duff was sentenced to 10 days in jail yesterday during a trial over, I shit you not, who will pay for Hilary’s 21st birthday. (He was sentenced for failing to report the sale of assets, not for the birthday party.) Apparently, Hilary’s mother Susan wants to make sure Hilary gets just as much as her sister Haylie and took Bob to court over it. All this to the tune of $25,000, according to the Houston Chronicle:
The $10,000 her husband pays her in interim support each month is “not even enough to pay my own bills” and certainly not enough to afford such expensive birthday treats, Susan testified. She said she has to rely on Hilary for financial help to pay her lawyers and other bills.
In his cross-examination, Piro asked Susan if her “adult millionaire daughter” would be upset if she did not receive an expensive gift and party for her birthday.
Susan replied that her daughter “is emotionally upset by the abandonment of her father” and deserves “to have some kind of recognition for a young life well-lived.”
Piro asked her where she thought Bob would get the money, and Susan replied he could get it from the same place he got money to buy presents for his girlfriend’s sons.
“I know he’s a millionaire, and he’s got the funds,” she said.
When Bob took the stand a few minutes later, Brown asked him if he wanted Hilary to receive a comparable gift to Haylie for her 21st birthday.
“Yes,” Bob replied.
“You’re not mad at Hilary, are you?” Brown asked.
Bob hesitated, and Brown withdrew the question.
Stansbury eventually ordered Bob to pay $12,500 to Susan for Hilary’s birthday.
Jesus, let’s tie up the court system making sure Hilary Duff’s father buys her an insane birthday present. If that’s not enough, I love Hilary’s mom crying that she can’t live on $10,000 a month and has to ask Hilary for money to cover her legal fees. Here’s a suggestion: Why don’t you quit suing your husband over ridiculous shit and live on the $120 grand you make for having a functional birth canal? I know it sounds crazy, but it just might work.
posted by Poolside on Aug 31
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson both took to their celebrity blogs after Michael Lohan publicly called Samantha a “drug” for Lindsay and claimed she would out Lindsay in a tell-all book. Lindsay became so incensed she churned out the following hyphen-laden diatribe on MySpace:
If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that’s what i have believed my whole life- don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going…
If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.
Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).
He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.
Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.
This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.
I’m not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…
I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.
Again, Lindsay calls her mother Dina wonderful. The woman who’s clearly walking behind her thinking “Cha-ching! Also, I need gin NOW.”
Samantha Ronson’s response to Michael Lohan after the jump.
posted by Poolside on Aug 28
Great news, everybody: Britney Spears will not be performing at this year’s VMAs. HURRAY! Her manager Larry Rudolph wants everyone to know Britney is very serious about her album and won’t be reprising her now infamous Jiggly Girl dance, according to the AP:
“Contrary to media reports, Britney was never slated to perform on this year’s VMAs,” Larry Rudolph, Spears’ manager at Jive Records, said in a statement. “She’s in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and her focus remains on the studio.”
Anyone get the feeling this “new and improved” Britney Spears has no fucking clue what’s going on around her? Yeah, she’s made some groundbreaking changes (See: wearing a bra.), but the look on Britney’s face tells me she has the wherewithal of a ham sandwich. I mean, you could probably light one of her kids on fire, and she wouldn’t even bat an eye. Then again, I basically just described anytime Britney makes PB&J. Bad example.
posted by Poolside on Aug 28
Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton are no longer getting married, E! News reports:
They “have amicably ended their engagement,” Sheridan’s rep said in a statement Tuesday. “They appreciate your respect for their privacy in this matter.”
Hey, life sucks then you die. What I’m more concerned with is how the hell is Nicollette Sheridan’s nipples practically visible through a sweat suit? Those things are fucking bionic. Someone get this chick in the ring with Jennifer Aniston and crank up the A/C. There can be only one!
posted by Poolside on Aug 25
Lindsay Lohan decided not to wear a bra yesterday which resulted in a plethora of side-boob viewage. That said, I can’t tell if these pics are hot considering Lindsay’s body looks exactly like E.T.’s pale brother, What’s-His-Face? Oh, right: Kirsten Dunst.
posted by Poolside on Aug 25
Joe Francis continued his holy quest of everything good and righteous and nipplely by approaching model/reality star Brittny Gastineau last night outside of Crown Bar. I think I speak for all of us when I say “This man should be our president.” Not only would I campaign for Joe Francis, but I’d even consider putting on pants and going out to vote. Maybe. If there’s an Ice Road Truckers marathon on that day, I’m not making any promises. It’s trucks on ice, people!
EDIT: And, no, the irony that Brittny is standing on a street corner is not lost on me. Classy!
posted by Poolside on Aug 25
When she’s not single-handedly destroying the image of a Dallas-based brewery, Jessica Simpson likes to take time out from her busy schedule to snoop through Tony Romo’s cell phone which is how she knew his ex Carrie Underwood was lying when she recently said Tony still calls her. You bagged yourself a keeper, Tony. NY Daily News reports:
“Tony and I both laughed at that,” Simpson told Nashville radio station 107.5 The River. “We got a chuckle out of it.”
Underwood’s comments are “definitely” not true, Simpson said. So … how does she know this?
“I looked at his call log.”
I wanted to say something about Jessica Simpson’s flagrant display of cattiness, but frankly, I’m impressed she not only knows how to operate a cell phone but didn’t swallow it in the process. It’s like, you want to be mad, but at the same time “Wow!”
posted by Poolside on Aug 25
Tori Spelling’s husband Dean McDermott is pissed she dropped out of the 90210 remake after she learned she’d be making 10 grand an episode less than Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty. Dean was hoping to score himself a gig despite the fact a trained chimp could tell you this show won’t make it past October. Back me up, Coco. Or shove a banana in the printer; that works too. Star reports:
Tori told Dean that she wasn’t going to accept less money than her costars, Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth, “especially when it was her father who created the original show,” says a source close to Dean. “He told her that they should have worked something out before she made an abrupt decision because now he can’t even be on the show!”
If your only chance of finding acting work is mooching off your wife’s participation in a shitty remake of a shitty 90’s show, it’s time to look for a new career. Now, I don’t want to get your hopes up, Dean, but I hear after a week at Starbucks they let you use the Frappucino maker. We truly do live in the land of opportunity.
posted by Poolside on Aug 23
Tila Tequila’s new girlfriend Courtenay Semel found herself in the drunk tank after getting in a fight with security outside a Vegas nightclub. Beforehand, she was having dinner with Kourtney Kardashian who was taping an episode of her reality show Keeping up with the Kardashians. So, for the five people who watch the show, you’re in for a night of drunklarity featuring Z-List celebrities. Huzzah! Page Six reports:
Later, Kardashian called it a night and Semel went out to Pure at Caesars with Vegas showman Jeff Beacher - and proceeded to “go nuts,” a spy said. “Courtenay got so drunk she was falling down. Security asked her to leave, but she refused.” Semel finally left, but on her way out there was an altercation with a security guard. “She was arrested and spent the night in jail,” a Semel pal confirmed. “And she lost her phone.”
Some people might be wondering, where was Tila? Oh, she was there alright, but, uh, how do I put this? You see, kids, Tila Tequila is very tiny which allows her to fit “places” that only Mommies and Daddies who love each other should go….
posted by Poolside on Aug 23
Jesus, that was fast. Here’s the first of presumably many ads featuring Jessica Simpson as the new face of Stampede Light Plus beer. I gotta be honest, this campaign is already headed towards epic FAIL. Everyone knows you can’t sell beer without bikinis. Did the Ten Commandments teach us nothing? Here’s the text for anyone that’s interested and has a high tolerance for dumb:
I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made a smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.
Beer plus what? Kittens? A Wii? Hot sauce? Wait, look who I’m asking. Anyway, I highly doubt these are Jessica Simpson’s true feelings on Stampede Light. In fact, here’s her initial reaction:
“If Tony Romo leaves me, I’ll kill myself! GLUG GLUG GLUG! This tastes like Flintstone vitamins and piss - Hit me again. I don’t care how many I drank! I’m the spokesperson I threw up in my cowboy hat and now I wanna drive the truck. Beep! Beep!”
NOTE: Pic links to larger version in case you like hay and/or the faint allusion of cleavage.
