Vegas Poolside Beauties

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Dr. Phil showed up on The View this morning to stick his mug once again into the latest Britney Spears fiasco. Ok! Magazine reports:

“I don’t think [Spears’ current hospitalization] surprises anybody. All I’ve ever try to do is help. By that I don’t mean doing therapy, because I don’t do that anymore, but I’ve always felt like let’s get her to the right kinds of professionals–ones that could provide psychological and psychiatric support. I don’t know the circumstances of how she wound up in the hospital today, but if it’s moving in that direction, that could be a good thing.”

Dr. Phil was also pimping his Britney story on Good Morning America and The Today Show earlier in the week. Dr. Phil likes feeling relevant. Otherwise he turns into the Incredible Hulk and eats children. No, really, I read it on Wikipedia. Or was it the bathroom stall I wrote on last week? I get the two confused.

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Britney Spears supposedly told doctors at UCLA she’s on Adderall and has been taking ten laxatives a day. Wow, on top of all that Starbucks? That’s pretty gross. Anyway, she also laid down some heavy accusations against her mom Lynne, according to TMZ:

We’re also told, when she was admitted, Britney accused her mom of “sleeping with my boyfriend.” She wasn’t specific on who she was referring to.
We’re also told that for a time she was hurling profanities at her parents and staff.

Lynne Spears and Adnan McWienerPills? Of course. That makes absolutely zero sense whatsoever. Therefore it’s gotta be true. I’m on board. Lynne, you whore!

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Michelle Williams kicked Heath Ledger out of their Brooklyn home because of his drug problems over the past year. Heath would disappear for days on end and show up a complete mess, according to a member of Heath’s entourage. Page Six reports:

“He was partying, doing drugs. She didn’t like the company he was keeping. She gave him an ultimatum. . . . and threatened to get custody of the girl. He wanted to make it work, but it was this scene he was wrapped up in. Was he an addict? Yeah.”

Entertainment Tonight was also going to air a tape of Heath doing cocaine at a hotel party in 2006, but opted not to out of respect for the Ledger family. Heath also had a problem with heroin that may shed light on his death, according to Page Six’s source:

“Once you go down that road, then it gets really scary. Because all of sudden you shoot up, you take heroin, then you do a line of cocaine and then you take sleeping pills. Look at River Phoenix, he died exactly the same way.”

I tried to find the Heath Ledger drug video on YouTube but all I found was some jackass who filmed himself through what looks like a roll of toilet paper. I don’t want to say it’s the most retarded thing I’ve seen in a while because I cover Britney Spears everyday. So that bar is pretty high. That being said, now I can’t stop saying “Earthen dam.” God, I hate you, YouTube. But I can’t quit you.

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

There’s nothing like waking up in the morning and finding out Britney Spears went insane again while you were sleeping. As I’m sifting through the deluge of info, it appears Sam Lufti is was the point man with the doctors who are taking care of Britney. During her last trip to the hospital, she signed some form stating she doesn’t want her parents involved in any type of medical emergency, according to TMZ:

We’re told her dad had gone ballistic back then, screaming and swearing at Lutfi — even pushing him — in front of Britney. As to what paperwork was signed, the cleanest thing would be if Britney signed a durable power of attorney, giving someone power to make medical decisions on her behalf in an emergency. We are told no such document was signed, but somehow Britney made it clear she wanted Lutfi to make those decisions.

Obviously her parents have called in all kinds of lawyers to get this mess straightened out. In the meantime, E! Online is reporting that Sam is the one who contacted Britney’s psychiatrist to get the ball rolling. Plans had been laid for days to get Britney hospitalized and the LAPD was ready for the call:

Lutfi was said to be key in making it happen, even over the objections of the singer’s recently reunited mother, Lynne.
“The scene inside the house was chaos,” the insider continued. “Lynne was shouting at police. She didn’t want them to take Britney away at first. It was a zoo.”

Here’s an interesting little item that I remembered from yesterday on TMZ. Britney and Sam got into a loud screaming match in front of the paps over who would drive her new Mercedes Benz. The Benz that Sam made her go out and buy while her parents were in town. He was spotted driving the car to the hospital this morning. It seems like Britney is Sam’s goose that lays the golden eggs. As long as he keeps her in the hospital, he still gets to have McMuffins. Or maybe an omelet. Western style. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I haven’t had breakfast yet.

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Britney Spears was taken from her home early this morning in an ambulance. She’s currently checked into UCLA for mental evaluation, according to People:

“She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong,” confidant Sam Lutfi tells PEOPLE.

However Sam Lufti may no longer be speaking for Britney. TMZ is reporting that Britney’s parents are taking control of the situation and are working with a judge to get control of Britney:

We’re told Britney’s mother, father and brother have been “working closely with the LAPD for weeks” to get her back in for psychiatric care. There is now a dogfight between Britney’s family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.

Apparently it was Britney Spears’ new psychiatrist who called the ambulance last night to get the ball rolling. There was no suicide attempt which had previously been rumored. Britney is back on 5150 hold and this time her parents are looking to it extend it for 14 days. As of this post, there has been no sign of Dr. Phil. He’s probably still firing up the Phil-jet.

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Paris Hilton posed for photos outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater last night. She was making an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman to promote her new movie The Hottie and The Nottie. Even more surprising than her movie not going straight to video, are the fans waiting outside and presenting her with a bouquet of roses. Apparently these people are so inspired by Bigfoot they’ll brave the New York cold just to scream “Paris, we love you!” and the always popular, “Viva la genital sores!”

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Leah Remini wants to have some relevance to her life since King of Queens went off the air, so she’s angling to be godmother to her good friend Jennifer Lopez’s unborn baby(s), according to People:

“We’re asking for an audition for godparent roles,” Remini, 36, joked to PEOPLE at the premiere after-party for her new comedy Over Her Dead Body Tuesday night. “Um … so, we’re waiting to hear back.”

I think Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony should seriously consider Leah’s case. I mean, Leah is an OT V in Scientology. I’m assuming that means she’s allowed to look at Tom Cruise’s face. But not in the eyes. Anyway, she has experience dealing with aliens which, let’s be real, one or two of them are popping out of that J-uterus. I know for a fact that Marc Anthony crash landed at Roswell. Then he salsa-danced his way out of the wreckage and into our hearts.

NOTE: Here’s a crazed letter from Leah Remini urging other Scientologists to become “clear” by crossing a bridge with rainbows or something. It’s sort of like Lord of the Rings but less believable.

posted by Poolside on Jan 31

Britney Spears is reportedly on medication for bipolar disorder. She has seen several psychiatrists and has one that visits her regularly. Friends claim Britney does well on the medication, but when she feels normal she quits taking it causing her to go batshit. However, one professional tells TMZ the medication is just flat-out not working:

That same professional tells TMZ, “She’s really trying. Whether it works — we’ll have to see.” That person also says it’s extremely frustrating when the media shows video of Britney out on the town acting crazy, adding, “She has a disease. Sometimes when you see her she’s in the middle of an episode. It’s like mocking someone with Down syndrome.”

Wow. Did that person just say Britney Spears has Down syndrome? That’s a bit harsh. To people with Down syndrome that is. They try their best and are surprisingly great with kids. Britney on the other hand; well, she’s great with, uh, I dunno, socks?

posted by Poolside on Jan 30

James Gandolfini decided to rough up a fan he encountered at JFK airport yesterday. The guy claimed to be a huge fan of Tony Soprano and kept pushing for an autograph, according to the Daily Mail:

The affection was clearly not mutual, with an irritated Gandolfini grabbing the man by his collar and punching him, claiming he came to close to his girlfriend Deborah Lin.
The fan said: “I’m just trying to find out how to be a Soprano.” Gandolfini responded: “Well, that’s how you do it.”

Tony Soprano quickly had a change of heart (i.e. didn’t want to get sued) and posed for a photo with his victim/superfan. Wait a minute. Jordan Bratman?

posted by Poolside on Jan 30

Us Weekly is claiming to have a source close to Angelina Jolie that says she is definitely pregnant. Word is Angelina is going to auction off confirmation of the news and donate the proceeds to charity:

One SAG attendee tells Us in its latest issue, on newsstands now, “It was so obvious she was pregnant. You could clearly see the bump’s outline.”

OK! Magazine is also reporting the bun’s in the oven. But enough about that. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I bid $1 billion* for the exclusive confirmation interview. For the record, I like to prepare a meal for all my interviewees. Hopefully Angelina likes Easy Mac out of a Tupperware dish. Also, I cook in the nude. That’s the naked nude, ladies.

*To be paid in $1 yearly installments. Dollar may be substituted for gum wrapper at any time. Gum not included.